


26. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to

by essiee, Guardian_Rose



Series: 100 Ways To Say I Love You [26]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Concerned! Magnus, Cute, Fluff, Good Communication!!!, Happy Ending, M/M, Worried! Magnus, little angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-08
Updated: 2017-01-08
Packaged: 2018-09-15 18:54:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,265
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9251270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/essiee/pseuds/essiee, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Guardian_Rose/pseuds/Guardian_Rose
Summary: Alec was clearly exhausted and Magnus was worried that he hadn't been sleeping enough and he was also worried about why.“Yeah, that sounds good.” Alec murmured but didn't make any move to untangle himself from the warlock.“Do you need to tell anyone where you’re going?” Magnus leaned back, putting a small amount of distance between him and his boyfriend in order to meet his eyes.





	

Magnus smiled as he watched Alec and his little brother Max go over their runes. The older shadowhunter was trying to convince Max that the rune he was calling the nourishment rune was most definitely the heat rune, but to no avail. They were sitting on Alec’s bed whilst Magnus lounged on the chair at Alec’s small desk. Max kept shooting Magnus pleading looks that begged the warlock to help him escape his studies, Magnus would slyly shake his head and carry on reading the book he’d brought with him. 

 

“Max, come on. One more, then you can go find Izzy or something. Okay?” Alec bargained, trying to catch the younger boy’s attention. Max nodded and they went through the rune cards to a certain degree of success.

 

Magnus chuckled as Max jumped up from the bed and ran out the door. Alec rolled his eyes and stood up to stretch; Magnus put down his book to shamelessly trail his gaze over the slim strip of skin that showed as Alec’s tatty sweater moved up. His gaze flicked up to the shadowhunter’s face to see if he’d noticed. He had. Alec blushed and looked at the floor quickly before taking the few steps it took to stand in front of the warlock. Magnus stood too and took the shadowhunter’s hands in his.

 

“Have you got anything else you need to do?” Magnus asked, leaning in slightly to press a soft kiss to Alec’s jaw causing the taller man to blush again. A beautiful shade of pink.

 

“No, I’m done for the day.” Alec answered, his voice barely a whisper in the warlock’s ear as Alec rested his forehead on Magnus’s shoulder. 

 

“Wonderful, do you want to go to the loft?” Magnus suggested, letting go of one of Alec’s hands to run his fingers through the soft hair at the back of his neck. Alec was clearly exhausted and Magnus was worried that he hadn’t been sleeping enough and he was also worried about why. 

 

“Yeah, that sounds good.” Alec murmured but didn’t make any move to untangle himself from the warlock.

 

“Do you need to tell anyone where you’re going?” Magnus leaned back, putting a small amount of distance between him and his boyfriend in order to meet his eyes.

 

“Uh, I’ll text Izzy when we get to yours but she’ll have figured it out anyway.” 

 

“Alright then, darling. I’ll make a portal quick.” Alec nodded and stepped back to give Magnus the space he needed. 

 

A minute later and they were in the loft, away from any distractions or disturbances. Alec made his way to the couch and sat down with a sigh, Chairman Meow immediately lept up and curled up on his lap. The shadowhunter fussed behind his ear without really focusing, his eyelids were drooping slightly and the worry Magnus felt was feeling curled itself around his lungs and stomach like vines.

 

The warlock sat down on the sofa and turned to face his boyfriend, debating on how to start the conversation they clearly needed to have. Alec seemed oblivious to Magnus’s concerns.

 

“Alec?” The shadowhunter immediately perked up, head snapping up to meet Magnus’s gaze, something like panic in his eyes.

 

“Yes?” Magnus noted the tension in Alec’s shoulders and posture, he winced internally at the fact that he’d already put Alec on edge.

 

“Are you okay? You’ve been...quiet and you look like you haven’t been sleeping.” Magnus really wasn’t doing well with this, he’d never had any practice with this sort of thing let alone with Alec with whom every situation was different and new.

 

“Oh, I’m fine.” Alec didn’t relax and Magnus frowned at him. The warlock reached out to put a hand on the shadowhunter’s knee.

 

“Are you sure? You know you can talk to me right?” Alec looked away from Magnus.

 

“Yeah, I know.” 

 

“Alexander, please talk to me.” Magnus shuffled closer, the Chairman jumped down to the floor and disappeared into the bedroom as if he sensed the tension in the room.

 

“Everything’s fine, Magnus. You don’t need to worry about anything. I’m fine.” Alec snapped but there was no venom, no belief behind it; he still refused to look up from his clasped hands.

 

“I’m always going to worry, darling. When it comes to you, Alec, I’m always going to.” 

 

“You don’t have to.” 

 

“That’s not the point. And you’re changing the topic, are you sleeping okay?” Magnus reached out his other hand to gently turn Alec’s head towards him, his fingers lightly grazing the shadowhunter’s chin.

 

“No. But it’s fine, I’m handling it.” Alec answered at last. Magnus pushed down on the instinct to gather Alec into his arms and kiss away whatever was hurting the other man but he knew that Alec was still knew to all of this and smothering him with his affection wasn’t necessarily welcome.

 

“Okay, do you want to talk about it?” Alec intertwined his hand with Magnus’s and brought their linked hands to rest on his knee as he thought, Magnus waited patiently.

 

“I- I worry that...that you will get bored of um me eventually. That eventually you will see that I don’t have anything to offer you, I’m not fun to be around, I’m not good at anything but fighting and keeping Jace in line. I’m not like you. You’re so adventurous, you do such amazing things and everyone likes you. I’m just not that.”

 

“Shit.” Magnus said when Alec had finished speaking. The shadowhunter looked up to meet Magnus’s sorrowful eyes. “Shit. I-”

 

“You don’t need to apologise, Magnus. I get it, I do. I’ve thought about it a lot and-”

 

“You- how much is  _ a lot _ ? Alexander, I don’t- I’m not going to- dammit Alec, I just didn’t want to- What made you think all of this?” Magnus had no idea how to say what he was thinking, he knew the three words that would solve all of this, that would show Alec how he felt but he knew it was too soon and either way he didn’t want to finally profess his love for the other man in such an unromantic way.

 

Alec looked confused for a moment before trying to remove his hand from Magnus’s, the warlock refused to let go and tightened his grip. No way was he letting go.

 

“Well, I- we haven’t really...done this for a while and I- you haven’t really called either so I just…” Alec trailed off.

 

“I’m sorry.” Magnus blurted out hurriedly trying to fix this mess he’d caused. “I didn’t mean to. I figured that with your parents visiting the Institute with Max for these past couple of weeks that it would be easier for you if I wasn’t constantly there or calling you here.” 

 

Alec’s eyes were full of surprise then understanding.

 

“I’m an idiot.” He whispered at last. 

 

“We both are, darling. Trust me, we both are.” Magnus replied, a small smile on his lips.

 

“I didn’t even think of that.” Alec continued and Magnus shook his head, still smiling as the tension in the shadowhunter’s shoulders finally dissipated.

 

“How about next time we just talk to each other?” Magnus suggested. Alec nodded, still looking slightly dumbfounded. “Well, now that’s sorted. How about we go take a nap because I am not okay with sending you back to the Institute when you haven’t caught up on any rest.”

  
Alec smiled and nodded but instead of standing up he pulled Magnus in for a chaste kiss that Magnus melted into instantly. Yeah, he was definitely and completely gone for the shadowhunter.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! <3
> 
> Any and all comments welcome! Especially prompts! <3


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